For You, Smudge

The 29th trophy of Sir Alex Ferguson's time at Manchester United. The Red Devils collected their consolation prize early in the season in an over-dramatic fashion at the Cardiff Millenium Stadium. The floodlights went off with only one strong headlight directing at the prize ceremony platform. The trophy looks stingily small and somewhat in unfamiliar hands. For many, this is their first. Like Rio Ferdinand, who has never won a single domestic trophy before this, looks distracted and unsatisfied. Wayne Rooney behaves like Ryan Giggs (who won every single trophy in club level), smiling and accepting his medal like a seasoned veteran.

As the celebrations went, skipper Gary Neville tried to spur his team into a little shaking and bouncing that all soccer teams do. It's a trophy they never wanted but now they must be relieved they have something to take home this season. Christiano Ronaldo donned the 'FOR YOU SMUDGE' shirt and I thought it was for his pet or something.

Alan Smith, who broke his leg, dislocated his ankle and tore his ligaments, was clearly missed in this occasion. For he, like all hot-headed enthusiasts, will surely have enjoyed every single moment of this Carling Cup triumph. His passion for the game and hunger to win would have rubbed off the whole team. It's nice to see the team appreciating his talents and his importance to this football club, especially during these troubled (transitional) times, what the team needs is attitude and spirit. Alan Smith is the epitome of that.

We miss you Smudge, come back soon. Maybe one day you will lift that European Cup that we dream of all the time.

Crazy month of Februrary

I'm listing down all the movies I've watched this month of Februrary so next February I can look back and see that last year I've spent how much money. And that is poor English for you.

1.I Not Stupid Too - with Weixin
2.Memoirs of A Geisha - with Alvin and Karin
3.Fearless - with Fel
4.Jarhead - with Luq, Weixin, Kay Lii and Jan
5.Constant Gardener - with Minxiu
6.Walk The Line - with Jan and Mel
7.Brokeback Mountain - with Weixin and Jan
8.North Country - with Fel
9.Syriana - with Weixin
10.Match Point - with Fel
11.Munich - with Wenjie

Unfinished business: Cache(Hidden) with Minxiu, Zoolander with Xiang, Capote and Transamerica.
And Weixin, thats 4 movies we watched together this month.

What?

Why don't you tell me why I suck.

Dad

Hey Dad,
You wrote a message on a masking tape, pasted it on the wall so that I could see. You wrote to tell me to water the plants that you have grown from the seeds that grandma gave 10 years ago. I did not see that message, neither did I see the masking tape. The plants look thirsty and dehydrated and I saw the sadness in your eyes. The flowers died and the leaves were left dangling on the branches. You asked me whether I saw the message at all. I never knew. I was seldom at home. And when I came back, I did not see the message. The message was ripped apart by hatred and never to be found again. I would have water the plants, I would have forgotten, but I did not.

And then, I remember the days when I was still a toddler. You and your famous masking tapes. How you pasted the masking tapes on the edge of the walls and measured my height. You marked my height with a pen on the masking tape and measured it with your masking tape. You also measured Mum's height and I remembered that was a lot of fun. The masking tape of all our heights were left on the walls for many years. Till it disintegrated, till it got eaten up or run ragged by lizards.

You are not the man you were before, Dad. You look haggard and you look tired. Your wife hates you and your son doesn't talk much to you. You spend countless nights in your little room watching TV on your own, eating on your own, listening to your favourite old songs. You listened as Mum and I joked about little stuff outside your room. You closed your door softly unlike Mum who slams the door at your presence. All the soups and fruits you prepared have all gone to waste. Your wife gets upset when your son eats your stuff. Your son feels reluctant to eat the stuff sometimes so as not to anger your wife.

I have forgotten that middle-aged man who talked about those Chinese stories that I love to hear. Those stories about filial piety, those stories of the highest moral values. I come home to see an old man stuck in that perpectual darkness, walking in and out of the room only to relieve himself with his head hang low.

You told me you've tried your best. You told me you never smoke or drink and was never unfaithful to Mum. You told me you longed for a nice dinner downstairs at the coffee shop with Mum and I, watching TV together. You told me you're tired and there's nothing more you can do. You have tried everything to win her back but you have failed. You now work your socks off for someone who doesn't love you anymore. You said you've gotten the past the sad part. You have pondered over and over again in that little room. What happened and why your life has gone so wrong? Why other wives stick by their husbands even when they smoke or drink? Even if they're ex-convicts? Even if they're drug addicts? Even if they've no money. You now live life by paying bills. Start of the month, end of the month. That is your life. You eat your reunion dinners alone and you come down from the lift, walking past your wife and son like they are strangers.

I've never seen you cry Dad but you must have cried a million times in that little room of yours. And there's nothing I can do. Nothing. You may be full of shit sometimes and I despise you when you always talk about what you are going to do when you strike it rich. And how morally righteous I am not. But you are a strong man Dad. You talk to me like you're so strong Dad. I hope Mum understands one day. It is hard but we can always hope. 23 years of marriage.

I will start watering the plants.

Damm it

I was looking at my edveNTUre pic and I realise I do look like that guy who claims to be 'Not Stupid too'.

Shit la! Alfred Choi was right. Damm.

Arts Fiesta

World domination begins here.

Tuesday at Canteen A.

First time I felt that I've made the right decision in joining the Jam Band.
The feeling was right. Right, Benny?

难兄难弟

I don't know what to say for this post. It just evokes tears and memories all lost in that particular house in Bishan.

The sense of weightlessness becomes so real.