It hasn't been an encouraging new year's eve, with the scrapping of the fireworks in respect of those who perished in the disasters. It has been raining non-stop too, dampening our feet but not the soul.

The current yellow Adidas shoes i'm wearing has lost it sole. Thus my wet foot. Yea just one of the shoe. So?





I'm gonna get a new pair. Happy New Year's Eve.

The most uninteresting post

I'm in my unit doing their computers.

After 8 straight victories in Winning Eleven 8, plenty of goals and assists in 2 actual football games followed by a game of squash, I have more than come to terms with my cancelled trip to Taiwan due to the ship's involvement in the relief assistance in Thailand and Indonesia. It was a good enough reason and I accept that.

Later in the day I was told I'm on standby to go to Indonesia along with 4 other people. If I were to leave, it will be on the 4th. And if I have to go, it will probably be about a month. It's all for a good cause helping the victims of the catastrophic natural disaster that nobody saw it coming.

It will be difficult to imagine how chaotic, how depressing the place could be.
I will probably be an observer. Gain some precious experience.

What a start to the new year.

But then again, nothing is confirmed. I got a feeling I probably won't go.

The best birthday

The news is out that I'll be leaving for Taiwan next month, the rumours are circulating that my birthday which is Jan 19 falls on the 3nd day of my Taiwan trip, such that I will not be able to celebrate that magical 21st birthday in the country closest to my heart. And where my closest companions are scattered all over it.

I will like to hereby, confirm that, all these rumours are in fact, true. The only errors are that the trip is not 100% confirmed and the birthday actually falls on the 2nd day, and not the 3rd day of the trip, unneccessary-but-just-for your information.

If you're sending birthday cards, cuddly SMSes, presents, e-mail greetings, gifts, planning to give birthday treats, well you have to do it before the 19th. The preferable date will be 16th Jan. Be proud of yourself and send me your warmest wishes on the 16th Jan. Love all of you.

I'm thinking of birthday celebration after birthday celebration with all my different groups of friends days prior to my departure. Celebration of life and humanity. Of relationships and how people feel connected to one another. It will be lovely with food and drinks. Small talk. Jokes. A little phototaking. Perfect.


Browsing through the pre-historic photo albums of my mother and before, her 21st birthday was a much more happening event. It was planned by her doting father whom I never got to see. Photos of fat uncles who use to be handsome and thin with retro hairstyles and weird jeans. Images of happy faces, ah-bengs and ah-lians of the 70s, fashion monguls. She was the favourite child among the 5 children my grandfather had. Only her 21st birthday was so carefully planned and tailored to my her desires. It was the best birthday because of a loving father who spends time and effort planning a special occasion for his baby girl, making her a true princess on her night.

On 19 Jan 2005, my mother will be lying down in bed, deep in prayer and alone. Thinking about me and perhaps the day she turned 21. The day she sees me in her. The day her father threw her the party of her life. Tears will well up her eyes. She will remember the joys of youth and the greatest love from her father. She will probably be thinking why her son did not have his party of his life. She will probably hate herself that she could not give me what her father gave to her. She probably sees her father in me. The unwritten tales of love. Reflections. Memories.

So on 19 Jan 2005, dun send me your heartfelt wishes. Cos that's the date for time, space, dreams and memories to collide in the web of love between three generations.

The greatest year-end story

Christmas ended more abruptly than it started. People of the world await the next big holiday.
The music stops, the laughter slowly diminshes, the smiles slowly wiped off their faces. People of the world carry on with their staidly routines, the black coffee, the annoying alarm clock, the painful journey to work.

Then again leaders of the world are talking about an insurgent and propitious economy. Leaders of the world are talking about year-end bonuses, a more affleunt society, a better life for everybody. People of the world are building better homes and families.

People in the world are always fighting. Fighting for peace. Inner peace. World peace. Peace at domestic levels. Fighting for happiness. Fighting for more company. Fighting against loneliness. Fighting for freedom.

I remembered the times when people our age knew nothing about wars and uncertainties in life and the world, the temperatures around this time of the year went into a landslide. It dipped to a walloping 21degrees. I watched the drizzle through the eyes of a little boy, and deep down I prayed that it stared snowing. The temperature went further down to 20.9degrees and my eyes never left the drizzle outside the window. I searched my cabinets for the thickest sweater, I put on my little socks and I blew hot air into my palms. I laid my mattress on my living room watchin the wonders of the world. Kids have less things to do i guess. 20.8degrees, it went down further. I turned on the TV set, hoping to hear the news that it finally snowed in sunny Singapore and finally four seasons all year long. My feet turned cold. I could hear my mother chopping vegetables in the kitchen, i asked repetitively whether she had seen snow. I was afraid I could not differentiate the difference between water droplets and precipitate.

I gradully fell asleep after a long wait. The temperature went up by 24degrees when I woke up. I was sure it snowed. I didn't even ask anybody to confirm that. I was darn sure. It would be the new year soon and I was a little happy boy.

The leaders will have their own stories to tell to the world. The people of the world will also have their own stories to share. But that was my greatest year-end story.

Christmas II

This year's Christmas was probably the very first I celebrated with one big group of friends and it was pretty lovely.

The morning on Christmas eve I was here.



2 of my closest buddies. Senseless revelry. I didn't even complete half a Vodka Ribena. ½ hour before, I took one long stroll from Somerset MRT to Orchard MRT. ½ hour it took to walk down that Takashimaya pathway. I couldn't figure how many people were holding their video cams above their heads trying to capture the atmosphere. I couldn't help too but try to take some photos of the orchard christmas night scene just to mingle in. 8 hours ago, i caught a show named Kung Fu Hustle. $7.50

I had to give up my bus queue for the McDonald's toliet's toliet bowl just an hour ago or so. I just could not defy nature no matter how much I resisted it. Internal stuggle and clenched facial expressions at the Bedok bus interchange. To think of it it was probably all this stuff about 12 hours ago that got me into this.



It was the class gathering " Christmas at Dianfang's ". And it was potluck. I prepared some real lousy ham pieces which was really bad.

Just a few hours before my war with McDonald's, I was hanging out at Joo Chiat which was Df's place feeling pretty happy and satisfied about the whole Christmas get-together that lasted from 5p.m. to 4a.m. There was an unbelievable number of digital cameras that were brought. I thought about the X'mas gift exchange that happened exactly 12 hours ago. Each time someone took centrestage opening their presents, there will millions of flashes shot at the poor person. Probably everyone felt like a star that night, jokes and laughter galore. As I sat down sipping my wanton noodles with the people who shared that same night at the Joo Chiat coffee shop, I thought, yea, Christmas should be something like that.



Great day. But better days to come in life.

Christmas

Christmas Day used to be of one those days that I'll be looking forward to when I was still little.

Every year, my family would celebrate Christmas. It was probably due to the fact that my grandma and my grandpa, whom I never, saw were devout Christians. It would be held at one of my uncle's place, there'll be good food and of course presents from various relatives. Juvenile mindsets will set you thinking and speculating which uncles would give what kind of presents at their current financial health. You would also try to see how other cousins' present compare to yours, thus seeing how good you fared in the adults' books. I remembered I had wenqing ( who is Fann Wong's sister ) celebrating Christmas with my family in 1996. So much for christmas stories.

Back home, there will be a christmas tree decorated with all sorts of bling-bling, flashy stuff and other Christmas accesories with my relatives' and friends' present placed at the foot of the tree. I would help my mother with the tree when we begin to smell December every year. It gets the kids all excited, doesn't it? Christmas is indeed a very happy occasion. Was a very happy occasion.

As time slowly peels off the mask that covers the reality of life, the innocence of youth, I get to see a better picture. Families falling apart, back-stabbing amongst relatives, siblings, in-laws. Adults seem to bear the greatest grudges. No more Christmas day celebration anymore. No more love for the kids. And I pity my little cousins who never enjoyed the warmth and love of the festive season that I did.

Something lighter

The lethal combination of a wisdom tooth extraction wound, an unusually big ulcer near the spot of the wound and a bad sore throat is becoming too much of a punishment. The inability to chew and taste food and the insatiable appetite for it pretty much adds acid to the wound.
I am beginning to speak in another accent which i never was capable of. My face is slowly transforming back to its original shape.Maybe things are getting better.

It actually took me some time to realise my previous blogskin was an eyesore. The spots didn't really work for me. A new look to my blog. Thank you very much.

I've never really talked much about what goes on in my daily life. I haven't touched my book for a long time. I've been eating watery food and passing out watery stuff for the past few days. I set the record straight with my first meal of chicken rice since my surgery.

These troubled days. War with my oral health. Fighting against the pain within. I think of gums, blood, saliva, open wound, ulcer, tongue, phlegm, unchewed food left in mouth for hours in the same environment. A pretty filthy place, the mouth is.

Go easy on Love

She probably didn't know what happened to him. She might have heard rumours that something happened to him. She might have gone to see him but she did not. She didn't want to. But she might have been traumatised too. She might have been suffering in guilt. She might not have known what to do. She wasn't wrong. Neither was he. But who is to define right and wrong in the first place?

We were in the same losing team that got thrashed by a far superior team. My fitness failed me as Dengue fever worn me down at that point of my life. I will also remember how the very next day, my anus outgrown itself and emerged from my crack, only to be undone by the surgical knife of Singapore General Hospital that following night, which left me bleeding from my anus the next 3 weeks. I will also always remember how unexpected and how unlucky was that. Never did I knew, there was another story at that particular episode. And that was L who lost his mind over some girl.

I never really knew him, and we were less than acquaintances. But his episode wasn't the first i encountered and it wasn't the most serious that i've known. Losing his mind, means being admitted to hospital, and saying certain content in a calm, composed manner that frightens people. He seemed like a normal person. It is always unnerving when abnormal things happen to very normal people. Unrequited love is something humans struggle to handle.

I had a mission on a day where i knew not my future lie. I was still suffering the repercussions of the atrocities of my academic failure. I wanted to confess my love for a girl, and i wanted to stay in that school. Both didn't happen.
I stared at photos taken between me and that girl in another school's library during lectures, I sent loads of SMS, only to receive laconic replies. I was drowning in my sorrow in my own world in another place thinking about something that cannot happen. So when she got hooked up with somebody whom i think sucked big time. I was like, ' fuck you slut'. It was the end of that unrequited love. I will laugh at myself for my inmaturity and innocence today at that incident. She was a nice girl, and that guy wasn't that bad after all.

L's probably lying on his bed thinking only about her. She's probably asleep by now. Love is really about life and death, something people succumb to, something people can't live with.

That day i remembered holding my friend's mother hand at the funeral. She was crying uncontrollably, some friends around me quietly sobbed. My teachers were crying too. He was such a fine young man. I always recalled it was August, i was singing national songs with him. Our arms on each other's shoulders. The holidays came. One word by the girl put an end to his life. Love got the better of him. 2001. A terrible holiday. A great loss.

Let's hope L recovers from this. Cos love can really make people do crazy things. And it does make people go crazy.

Love is still arguably the greatest thing on earth, but be easy about it.

Samantha, Linda, Diane, Juli, Willie, Andre, Ling, Christopher are some of the names i came across when I was working as a waiter at United Square. So that was 2 years ago, the names remain in my mind. Pictures were taken then just to remind myself how they looked like many years later. Life was pretty slow, an epidemic called SARS strike the town then, my workplace was near a hospital called Tan Tock Seng hospital which happened to house qurantined SARS personnel. The restaurants were pretty empty then. We were told to wash our hands frequently. Customers were scarce, talking time plenty. So every shift, I talked to the above mentioned names. Gossip, which food was bad on the menu, life, generic stuff, life in general. OK.

Besides washing hands, the next thing i was concerned about is getting to know these people. Improving relationships with them, dig about their past, squeeze out some scandals. I drank a lot of water since it was free and it was good for the skin. It was also to quench my thirst for all the talking i did. There will be people who don't talk much like Linda. She's not really into talking. She's more into getting the job done. She was the longest servant of the restaurant and she was paid 2 dollars more than us per hour. She got this piercing on her nose that really distracted me a lot and she rode a motorcycle. A biker girl, nicer name. Cool.

The epidemic extended my working hours by making time pass slower, it was also the time when Linda and I started talking much more. She will tell me her enemies, politics within the restaurant, other stories of other colleagues, her life. She was one year older than me but she looked years ahead of her age. She started working part-time when she was 14 and never stopped ever since. She did not stay with her parents and there was animosity between herself and her father. She never took allowance from her family, the part-time jobs paid for her studies in Poly. She paid for her petrol and her motorcycle. She paid for her rental where she stays. She was probably the most independent person i ever knew at her age. She was pretty much a very simple girl trying to make ends meet at such a young age.

Years after I will hear the news from my good friend, Dewei, that she was killed in a motorcycle accident.

Then i will recall, days before I enter NS, i went to that resaturant one last time. Linda was working and gave me a discounted meal of 30%. She was doing the cashier. That was probably the last time i saw her.
I knew her for a mere short 3 months. We were probably just aquiantances. But I just felt that uneasiness in my heart. She probably didn't get to reconcile with her dad. She dreamt about studying in a university by her own means.
She was such a survivor. A survivor in life. But not a survivor of fate.

I will walk along the streets near United Square again. Back to the restaurant. I will probably recollect something from there.

Champions' League Part 1

This season's champions' league just doesn't get any more exciting.

The draw: Barcelona vs Chelsea
Real Madrid vs Juventus
Manchester United vs AC Milan
Bayern Munich vs Arsenal
FC Porto vs Inter Milan
Liverpool vs Bayern Leverkusen
PSV Eindhoven vs Monaco
Werder Bremen vs FC Lyon

Plenty of heavyweight draws, especially the first 4 games. 4 top teams could go out of the competition as early as the second round. Holders FC Porto are also given a tough tie against the irresistible Adriano's Inter Milan. So many mouth-watering clashes.. well for me, probably it's mouth-blooding. Alright, let me give my predictions and analysis of these games. It's just so bloody exciting, isn't it?

Barcelona vs Chelsea
I seriously doubt Jose Mourinho when he said he wanted this draw. Barcelona is by far, the most classy attacking side in the world right now. John Terry and Ricardo Carvalho credentials will be on the line facing the magical Ronaldinho, clinical Samuel Eto'o and the ever-effective Deco. Frank Rijkaard who also led Holland to the semi-finals of Euro 2000 has built a squad widely tipped to win this year's champions' league. This is a game which they can't afford to lose, failure will not justify the highly talented squad and the attractive winning football they've been playing so far. Ronaldinho, already a living legend, will want to add the champions' league medal to his accolades. This year's Barcelona, many believe is the team that he could win it with. Standing in Barcelona's way is an equally difficult opponent. Chelsea's squad is glittered all over with experienced internationals and seasoned european players. Chelsea's defence has been their pivotal success. They will be able to cope well with Barcelona's attack. Chelsea's greatest attacking asset with be their set-pieces with Didier Drogba, Eidur Gudjonsen and John Terry who are really hugh-physique players that Barcelona may struggle with. Frank Lampard will square off against Deco at a replay of this year's Euro Championships quaterfinals. In Arjen Robben, they have the next best thing in football and he will go face to face with the most exciting player in football, Ronaldinho.
This match may be settled in a moment of magic by either Ronaldinho or Arjen Robben. Chelsea will no doubt try to exploit Barcelona in the aerial battles. It will be a close fight but I think Chelsea will go through with players like John Terry, Frank Lampard and Damien Duff playing like possessed men to prematurely end Barcelona's dreams.

Real Madrid vs Juventus

9-time european champions take on current Italian league leaders. This is a game with so many former European and World players of the world, namely Zinedine Zidane, Luis Figo, Ronaldo, Pavel Nedved, David Beckham, Michael Owen, Gianlugi Buffon, Alessendro Del Piero, Roberto Carlos and Raul Gonzalez. Except for Michael Owen, most of these players are already over the age of 28 and have already passed their prime form. Juventus are effectively scrapping out 1-0 wins at the Italian League as well as the Champions' league, Fabio Cappello has shored up the defense and transformed Juventus into a very hard team to beat. Gianlugi Buffon is still one of the most accomplished and all-round goalkeeper. Zlatan Ibrahimovic is in the form of his life, European veterans Del Piero and David Trezeguet and super Pavel Nedved orchestrates the attack. Ibrahimovic with his size and agility will be a nightmare for Real Madrid defenders, Pavel Nedved's all out approach, running and set pieces will torment Real's stellar but aging midfield. However Real Madrid always does well once they qualified from the group stages, David Beckham will be anxious to win his first trophy with Real Madrid. David Beckham is still dangerous with his dead balls, so is Ronaldo's predatory instincts and unorthodox skills. Much will also depend on Luis Figo's darting runs down the flanks. Juventus will do fine if they could contain Figo. However, Real Madrid's defence is still very much in tatters. Juventus will nick this one by a small margin.

Manchester United vs AC Milan

I was sick to the stomach when i first heard from soontat that these two teams were drawn against one another. My 2 favourite clubs. It's definitely a must watch from me. AC Milan went out to Deportivo in one of the weirdest games in European football last season, leading the tie 4-1 only to lose 5-4 in aggregate in the second leg. Newly crowned European footballer of the Year Andriv Shevchenko is long due for this award. He is the complete striker. Predatory instincts, lightning pace, an aerial threat and can shoot with both legs. Years ago he single-handedly brought Dinamo Kiev to the semi-finals of the champions' league. He has also been topping the scoring charts year after year in the most difficult league to score goals. Lining up with Hernan Crespo, another prolific striker in the Italian League, will no doubt punish any defensive slip-ups from Rio Ferdinand and company. Kaka, along with Adriano has been a relevation in world football, adding versatility and power to an already over-powerful Brazil. AC Milan has been the platform for Kaka's success, and he looks like scoring every game he plays. Milan's defence consists of Paolo Maldini, Alessendro Nesta, Jaap Stam, Cafu. It just about all the experience in world football and the biggest stage in football you'll ever need with few hundred international caps and 3 World Cups between them. Goalkeeper Dida is about the best shopstopper the world could offer right now. AC Milan is formidable and Manchester United will need their fair share of luck of knocking them out.
Wayne Rooney hasn't impressed much ever since his sensational debut hat-trick against Fernabache, I got a feeling he will finally come good against AC Milan. The youngster thrives on these big matches and finally prove his worth and stamp his mark in European football. Ruud Van Nisterooy, if available, will be a striker that Milan will worry about. The leading scorer in this year's champions' league is apparently saving his best form for these european nights, with an eye on Raul's record of the most goals in Champions' league, he is, a man on a mission. Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs and Roy Keane are all seasoned campaigners but they will all need to be in their best form to handle the Milan midfield of Gattuso, Kaka, Clarence Seedorf and Andrea Pirlo. Ryan Giggs is a much feared name in Italian football, reputation counts much in such heavyweight clashes. Paul Scholes is also getting a habit of nicking important goals for Man United at such stages. Christiano Ronaldo will also stir trouble in the Milan camp for the first leg but should be very much nullified in the second leg by the best readers of the game of AC Milan.
This is no doubt a showcase of all the promising talents that will take the world by storm. Kaka, Wayne Rooney and Christiano Ronaldo will want to write their names in European football history. Once again, it's as tight as any match can offer. I'm crossing my fingers for a Manchester United win, they need it more than AC does.

So, this concludes this ultra-long post. Will be back for more after i take my much needed rest.

So there I am with my puffed up face.

There comes a point of time in life when people extracts their wisdom teeth and look like shit. It was really quite painful, extracting four teeth at one go.
So those are my teeth, what's the point of showing all this?

Once more, I was reminded of the smell of the sickly stench of the hospitals while lying on the hospital bed. Once again, it reminded me of the times when i was staring at the clock at the ward of how slowly time passes when you are sick in bed. Over and over again, I was reminded of how insignificant you become as a patient, waiting for doctors doing their rounds to check out your condition and then leave without saying much. I was reminded how many foreign nurses have infiltrated our hospitals, speaking English with different accents. So after my dental op, I couldn't help agitated but to quicky leave the place. It was my third stay this year in any hospital. It was dengue fever, then it was haemorrhoids, then it was this. I didn't enjoy any single one of them, regardless the duration of stay, regardless of the number of days of MC that followed. Being sick and unwell simply sucks.

The hospital is pretty much a very sad place. Another prison. Some old patients I've talked to stayed for months and months, wearing the same ugly looking patients' clothes. I could see they really wanted to leave, it's a bloody burden financially, mentally and physically. Sleepless nights in the hospital. Anyhow, you've been lying on the bed all day all night, it doesn't matter if you slept or not. Everything is uncomfortable. The bed, the environment, the coughing and the sounds of whinings of pain around you. The older patients are already dying to be discharged, imagine confining a young, active adventurous heart on a bed. It is only then I realised how important one's health could be. Health is truly the greatest wealth and many people do not realise it.

Many of us are destroyers of our own health. Too many temptations in life. Spicy, oily, fatty food are usually the tastiest. Smoking and Booze are the hallmarks of adult life. Soft drinks or other sugared drinks are fast taking over water as the primary fluids we consume. It is definitely not easy, but at one point of our time, we have to really stop this bullshit, the suffering will come later.
As I'm typing this, i'm still sucking my own blood. Very soon, I'll be eating some cold porridge and probably some ice- cream later. Yeah, fatty food, I couldn't help it. Hospitals are eternal prisons, quit whatever you are doing. I'm talking about smoking or drinking alcohol in outrageous amounts. Don't be another patient in another hospital waiting to be discharged and counting the clock.

Bad service sucks

Years before today I was carrying a languid expression at a certain cafe inhaling second hand smoke from customers thinking about what my NS life awaits me. But that was when there were no customers. At the cafe, I was an excellent waiter. Astute, friendly, resourceful and good looking all at the same time, it's a joy dining at that particular cafe. Alright, sorry about that. But they should have really awarded me the employee of the month for my good service, my little chats with the customers, my mega-watt smiles at the ladies, patience with ugly and imprudent customers. Yeah my good service has gone unrequited.

The service industry in Singapore is bad. The waiters and waitresses really suck. I can see that their pay really sucks too. They don't smile too much. They don't speak too well. I mean such an attitude brat like me could do it, it ain't too difficult. Then comes the service charge which is not justified at all.

I was at K Box Tampines with my juniors today for some KTV. I was warned before that it really sucked in terms of service. I was willing to give it another chance. So it started off with no one attending to us for around an hour. We had to go out and ask them to get drinks for us. It's a bloody big labrynith at KTV Tampines and all the fucking workers are lost in it, finding where they skived was tough. They were all unapolegetic with their mistakes, epitomised by this one fucker who demanded us to pay the bill who behaved like we owed him money. In the end, everyone wasn't feeling too good about that place and we vowed never to go back there again unless absolutely necessary.

For those who didn't buy the Sunday New Paper, the last one i mean, go get it. I posted a comment on the Chelsea - Arsenal game. My first newspaper post debut!!

I'll be back in the ficticious world again, reading my book and watching imperial office politics on my com. Let me be in peace.

My Trip pics

Finally after many tries, i got all 4 pictures in this blog. It is so damm bloody difficult. Someone please teach me how to do this shit. Anyway, these are the long awaited pictures that I've taken with my friend's camera in Pattaya, Thailand in September i think. Yea nothing further out.

My monitor screwed itself up recently. Its sorry life came to an abrupt end on11th December 2004, graced my eyes for approx 3,4 years. So I'm now here facing a new mistress, LG monitoress.

Finally my 5 day break is over. Back to camp tomorrow. Evil people. Bring me to paradise.

Happy birthday! Chocolate cakes ain't good for health. Who cares?
I've been watching a lot of TVB drama, Jing Zhi Yu Nie, which stars She Shi Man, Li Zhi, Zhang Ke Yi, Deng Cui Wen, Ling Bao Yi and Chen Hao. Set in the Qing dynasty, it's about concubines scheming and plotting against one another for power and status in the palace. Survivor. How each of them remove one another from the picture and capture hearts of others. Like those dramas like Tian Di Nan Er, Tian Di Hao Qing, Chuang Shi Ji. Only this time, all the women are evil. Evil and smart women are really dangerous but highly attractive. Spices up your life, doesn't it.
There are basically a few types of this highly dangerous and intelligent women:

First is the ' Ru Fei ' mould. Cool, composed in the most tense situations, expert in guessing people's intentions, hardy makes a wrong move in improving relationships with people she deem fit. Behaves elegantly and has an aura of superority and almost impossible to put her down verbally. Will not hesitate to get rid of a person she thinks as irritating or poses a threat to her. Most of the time, leader of a big group. She appears the most dangerous but there's nothing much you could do about it.

Next up is the ' Er Chun ' mould. Appears weak, demure and dainty. Shows immense maturity and sensitivity to all. Especially caring and nice to the people she wishes to get rid of with no hint of hypocrsy. She is the calm and silent smiling assasin. Intensely sophisticated, you will never know what she's thinking. Most of the time, the little sister of a prominent group. She appears like a saint that wouldn't even hurt an ant.

Last but not least is the ' Yu Ying ' mould. Usually very attractive as well. Her appearance makes her a subject of jealousy and hate. She effectively counters this by behaving like an empty vessel, or in today's terms, a bimbo. Acts blur, stupid and temperamental but in actual fact she's slowly observing people who are trying to frame her, those being too nice to her. She will have her means to counter them. She appears the most harmless out of the 3.

Get these people to fall in love with you. They're quite close to my Huang Rong. They'll be such valuable assistants. Man. This is a mercenary world. Recruit the right people. Make the right friends, make use of the fake friends. Haha. What am I talking about? All this bullshit.





So unless you're me. Better be careful.
Ugly piece of shit. My complexion gets worse by the day. Skin care products anybody?

Finally a picture post in my blog. It's the very evil McDonalds. That's right. I was attempting suicide for dinner tonight with my order of this Quarter Pounder with Cheese minus the pickles, salty french fries and Sprite, the 3 packets of chilli sauce. Dinner alone is indeed a bore, thus the picture.

It was a fruitful day today as i bought Garbriel Garcia Marquez's Love In The Time Of Cholera. I treat it as a sequel to my previous read One Hundred Years Of Solitude which was just a magical book. At the same time, had a walkaround with my talented little junior just to buy things, check out the Solomon shoes which I had a 50% discount, some amphibious shoes, there was nothing that caught my eye.

Slowly, this bloody blog is turning to any mother's child's journal of what's happening to their sorry lives which I simply dun allow.

This is a picture of the very lucky Mervyn Sim from my camp who rarely loses a game. Another of those games at my friend's place, yea and we both lost. Anyway I'll be doing some reading for tonight as well as celebrating my girlfren's birthday for the next few days.

My first picture blog. For a start, it's crap.

Just lost money on the mahjong table with the usual kakis. And of course after practically playing almost every week for this entire year, i still feel a little fucked up when i lose money. The money is secondary. It's the feeling of losing. Conclusion? Big egos can't deal with games that do with hell lot of luck. I'm still learning how to lose graciously and win humbly. I'm such a bastard.


Watched a really refreshing movie called Rushmore, the same director who also did The Royal Tenabums, think i got the spelling wrong. Both written by Owen Wilson. Enjoyed it.

You can see I'm getting nowhere again with short paragraphs like the one above. I recently had a wonderful KTV session with my two batch boys, or ok, army friends. Batch boys sound so lame but that's what they call it in my camp. We realised that vocals are simply not enough, so I started embarking on this lame online tutorial of piano lessons. I don't think it will work out. I do not know have a piano at home. So everything's on the computer. The keyboard will do. Because of that particular night, i started downloading some old boys2men songs where there's a lot of those harmonzing and soulful deliveries, really cool. It's pretty funny too doing all these shit with my friends thinking that we are professionals but it's also very soothing, and it promotes teamwork as well. Water Runs Dry is really great.
Japanese music is something i never really touched. There was so much craze back in the late nineties then. Jap serials come with jap serial songs come with good looking actors who are at the same time musicians. So there you go, we have that show called ....er.. i forgot what's the title, but it's that show that features the jap singers performances every week. Chemistry and Gospellers are said to be some really good R&B shit according to my friend Felix. Yeah Japanese music is all too sterotyped to SMAPs, Ayumi Hamasakis and Utada Hikarus, and Speed is known to have to kicked start all this. I don't really know much, tell me more.

I shall stop here. It's getting late. And shockingly, it's 2 more days to a very special day of mine.

I finally felt I could write again after many blatant attempts. Throughout the day i've been thinking of what should I write, anything interesting in my life, maybe some short stories. I felt like writing about what idleness is about, what boring lives we live, what people are doing in SAF camps, why everything i think of writing in this has to do with the military shit, the amount of money i splurge on softcore revelry. Alright i got it, maybe i should just talk about what ns is all about and egos.

When you're running late and on a bus, you will start to think that you have supernatural powers. You will focus your mind on the next traffic light. If it's still a green man, focus. And it will remain so. If it's Mrs Scarlet, then focus, and you'll give her a sex change op. Alright. That's lame. Focus on your supernatural abilities, and yes, the next bus stop will be empty and the bus will just drive past. If it doesn't work, blame it on yourself, you didn't focus enough.
Such is the lame lives of idle people.

There are people in my camp who gets paid near 3000 a month to grace the mattresses in the cabins and smother it for the whole day, occasionally out for a smoke break. There are people who are actually losers in real life, trying to seek refuge in a dominant military uniform. Local and overseas courses badges weighing down their uniforms of which they identify themselves with. People who needs money to finance their late night hangouts in pubs and discos, their promiscuity with the unknown species in Geylang and Johore, their life-long affair with that four wheel machine. Naval Divers. Commandos. Guards. Commisioned officers. Yes, we were all once obssessed with those tags. Pride, honour, glory and whatever bullshit. The attachment to those dies down and eventually we're back to commoners. Of course there was pride, but it doesn't live on forever. Move on.
The military is just one big show, you put on the badge, you put on the rank, and there you go, you're playing a role, do what you're supposed to do. We will feed you, dun worry. You're unbeatable, hey come on you're a commando. So i'm supposed to behave this way and this way? I see...Put on those Oakleys, man, you look cool. You're someone from the Special Forces.

Alright. Pick up a card from this deck. You win. Congrats.

I never wanted to watch Oliver Stone's Alexander but it happened. Three long hours it was and I fell asleep during one of those so called 'epic' battle scenes. I'm not somebody that falls asleep so easily in the cinemas. The last time i fell asleep was another war movie Brotherhood, yes, the one which stars Won Bin.

And yes, we will continue to see more and more of such movies in the future. These so-called blockbusters. Holloywood producers will contniue to dig out greek war gods, true war stories, fantasy novels as material for their next blockbuster. They will continue to pay A-list hollywood stars millions, first, to boost their box-office potential, secondly, to mess up that actor's testimonial.

I didn't really enjoy Mel Gibson's Braveheart but the Oscars and the critics love it. It got more stale when he did The Patriot, We Were Soldiers. Same formula, different time frames. All in all, it's the same.

Steven Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan won several prizes too. But it's probably one of Spielberg's less refreshing work and it will be only remembered as, maybe, Singapore's first NC-16 movie. Replicas like Black Hawk Down, Windtalkers, Tears of the Sun..blah blah yawn... yea haven't watched them but you roughly get the idea.

There was Pearl Harbour. Then there was Troy. It was nothing much besides Brad Pitt. That was probably what the whole show's about. The Lord of the Rings trilogy was of course something to look forward to at the end of the year during those days. It was aesthetics at its best. So dreamy and magical. The battle scenes were awesome and so extravagant and it rightfully deserved its place in the Hall of Classics Fame.

But the one true war movie (which may not really fall into this genre) which I really liked is The Last Samurai by Tom Cruise and Ken Watanabe. It is more spiritual and visceral than all the above mentioned. It was a war movie that is quiet and peaceful, had characters that were strong, real and mythical at the same time. While other war movies have really lame pre-battle storylines, the old cliched 'leaving behind the loved ones', 'pride and honour', 'sacrifcing one self'. Well alright not really lame but forceful and simply too vague, which makes viewers think that the director wants to quickly finish the bullshit and get on to the climatic scene. The Last Samurai however has a whole chunk of story, explaining the way of life of the Samurai warriors, their rich heritage, their softer and humane side, what they are fighting for. And how all that came to jeapordy by political plot and emergence of warfare technology. More depth and a better storyline is all that's required for these war movies i feel.

Long long ago there was Ben Hur, people then were blown away. Alexander like its many other cousins over the past few years certainly didn't impress this generation. And Colin Farrell is really ugly in the movie. Yea, screw you.

Topic of the town

Like what Dick Lee said, the initial idea of having the Singapore Idol final in the Singapore Indoor Stadium was over-ambitious and a little bullshitty.
So turns out, I voted for the eventual winner Taufik Batisah who's a real crooner. 5 votes. $2.50.
Justice prevails, the right person won. What a story it turned out to be. Wannabes to stars. Legions of fans screaming. Dreams and reality are really just neighbours.
But Taufik, as talented as he is, may struggle to find his feet in the industry. Asia is the only realistic place he could try making a name for himself but till now only singers outside of Asia has very successfully captured the English market in Asia. But who knows? Even Sylvester Sim has gone that far, anything could happen. Best of luck to him.

Recently i'm getting a little dry with this blogging or I'll prefer calling it something like a columm. I suddenly lost inspiration in writing stuff. So i'm really squeezing something out of nothing.