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Monday, August 21, 2006

Lamenting

A clinical Manchester United performance brought smiles, but only for a while, when the Starhub signals planned their exodus from the suburbs of Boon Lay during half-time, leaving its viewers frustrated and sore.
TVants which provides free online television programs, which include Chinese ESPN, is not compatible with the Macintosh. That's when you really feel the downside of the Mac.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Dark thoughts

The world is more like Nirvana than Carpenters. A deeper dig into Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theories confirmed that. The theories roused my curiousity on the two greatest misues in the world, sex and violence. We all know how sex is misused and we also know violence is not intrinsically bad. The argument on whether violence is justified was mentioned in one of my previous posts. A simple example will be that violence starts war as effectively as it ends it, but it would be wrong to say that violence is the only reason why wars are started. It is simply an instrument. That is misued. There you go. While Freud's central idea focuses on sex itself, I believe that violence is another inherent human trait that is masked or hidden within the unconscious. The simple fact why Freud did not mention about violence is that he is more sexual than violent. His ideas were condemned by certain people but there was no vehement protests against controversial theories like the Oedipus complex simply because deep down, people know that it is true. Maybe not exactly the same. But there is an innate sexual aggression within the human being. Freud is now in our textbooks for the mere fact that he was the first person to admit something that is against moral, social, religious orthodoxy.

Human beings are superior because they have culture and branching out from culture comes rules. In some point of history, it is decided by the influential people that moral righteousness is the way to go. That everybody obliges by that. To do good is the way of life, to rape or kill someone is wrong. So if Freud was right, we would have violated something we believed in. Liberalism. Because by suppressing our biological system, restricting ourselves of what was to be our natural self to suit societal needs is not allowing to choose what we want or what we are. So starting from the very individual, suppression has already begun. Denying our biology their rights.

We talk about sex and violence promulgated by the mass media, how they are affecting our children and adolescents and how it corrupts our society. But deep down, these very people fighting against it might probably be secretly enjoying it. They are so warped within the societal structure and how it contructs their thinking that they did not realise that they want sex and violence to carry on in our TV sets. They know unconsciously that the more they fight it, the more sex and violence won't relent. You might not understand what I'm trying to say. Quit trying.

It seems illogical and atrocious to think that sex crimes and violent acts can be justified just because of our biology. It is with digust I read in newspapers about these atrocities but it is also something I will read for a while longer because these are what we unconsciously desire. Think of it in a scientific way and step back and think of yourself as somebody outside the human world and it might make some sense. You think I'm wrong because you're too absorbed in the way of life created by our ancestors. Society has already constructed you as much as it has constructed me. It's like the Matrix.

It is a dark world out there and birds don't sing like what Carpenters tell you. They are warning you.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

I'm shouting profanities

I'm being resentful again after reading L's blog. For the record, I was supposed to be at Bangkok with st last last thursday. Good lobang got us real cheap tickets for a quick weekend getaway to just chill out and take some good pictures on a foreign land. st got his passport done and we were all set but all quickly broke down after the Empress got into another of her 'insane' mode that left me no choice but to forfeit the tickets and cancel the trip. I can't remember what it was but her verbal abuse and history of juvenile behavior was enough for me to swallow the hard pill, suck it up and move on. I told myself that I'm not going to get anymore of this shit and vowed not to speak to the Empress for some time. But I'm a forgiving person and 2 days later I let it go.

2 weeks later, i received an e-mail about hostel fees and school fees which added up to about a thousand. The emperor who once told me he'll cover my education quickly dismissed my request of getting money from him and said that I was demanding the money to go to Bangkok. Well, he had no money in the very first place but it was sick to hear that kind of shit. So I'll be paying for my own tuition fees and hostel fees from the money I earned during the holidays which were peanuts. I should have been more ruthless and dun give a shit ass about anyone's feelings to go abroad to just chill out a little rather than to put up with all the shit that is happening right here. I earn my own money and I have the right to spend it, it's not like I'm taking the royal family's money. Absurdity's gotten a whole new definition.

In any case, I'm wanting out of this hellhole real soon. I once heard from someone that the best thing a dad can give a son is knowledge(education). Well, I feel the pinch right now.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Bad at title names

This is going to be an entry of unrelated stuff churned together in a mixer where the juice is neither sweet or bitter. 6 days and 5 nights later, I open up my page and still see that ugly picture/banner or whatever you call it hanging under my blog's name and the more I see it, the more I think that its fugly.

To avoid people from finding my blog in technorati, i shall name the event that I just went through 'pMac', the inversion of the original spelling of the word.

It ended at the Home Club, a relatively unknown club with nice sofas and grafitti hanging around the place with really bad music and weird people. The place was booked and the band did quite a number of songs which the people danced to and had fun. Everyone was soaked in ecstacy when we won the best group and this time it was pretty genuine. There was no all out to win approach, there was no one-man show dictatorship and self-expression was the word of the day. For once, the good guys less myself were the victors of the day and for once, justice prevailed.

A ridiculous walk from Boon Lay to East Coast Park ripped my knees apart and now, ants are crawling in and out of it. I have scratch marks all over my body, blood together with pus come streaming out to produce a sparkling orange fluid. The back of my shoulders have turned black, blue and red simultaneously. I have surpringsly kept my voice but I have a feeling that ulcers are slowly forming up in all corners of my mouth because of the lack of fluoride. I was completely unmoved in a lacklustre fright night at the old Changi hospital when really, my faculty guys would have done a much better job. I haven't been so physically tired for a very long time.

Some of my acquaintaces became friends and some of my enemies became acquaintances so a big thank you to myself and my efforts for being a less jerk for this one.

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