No Flair
Sometimes I really hate myself for being a lesser me. When you've grown old enough to know your own strengths and weaknesses, some more time is needed to accept your own flaws and why you haven't realise them along the way when growing up.
Half of the time when I was growing up, I wasn't fantasizing about being a pop star, a business magnate or a powerful politcian. I was more of fantasizing about how I rise through the ranks as an aspiring young footballer, scoring on my debut, putting in a string of superb performances, scouted by top clubs, go on to break all scoring records and personal awards winning trophies and stuff. Dreams are dreams and reality is cruel.
The fact is I was never born an athlete, less a soccer player. I am psycho-motor in the way I play sports and I have no flair whatsoever in games. I love to win and I love engaging in physical battles but that is about all I have to offer. I look weird when I play sports. My actions are ugly. I have no grace, no guile and show no signs of any athletism.
Back in secondary school then, everybody played soccer in class. It was the thing everyone looked forward to during recess. I was in a notorious group in my class called "OKI gang" which means black mole. We had really great players in the team. I scored a lot of goals then with the help of my team mates. I was playing around some really great players. I was naturally delighted and I told people I was a decent player and score many goals.
It reminded me of how peope can so unashamedly audition for TV singing competitions such as American Idol or Superstar not knowing that they are just totally horrendous. I'm probably not so different myself. Many of us live behind a smokescreen, imagine being someone who we are not and will never be.
I love playing sports, I know how to play most sports which I suck at most. I'm thinking of joining the sports camp coming up in NTU. But I know I will never play the game the way I really want myself to. I am hindered by my own limitations. Therefore, I decide to make peace with my own weaknesses, accept them and embrace my other strengths.
Half of the time when I was growing up, I wasn't fantasizing about being a pop star, a business magnate or a powerful politcian. I was more of fantasizing about how I rise through the ranks as an aspiring young footballer, scoring on my debut, putting in a string of superb performances, scouted by top clubs, go on to break all scoring records and personal awards winning trophies and stuff. Dreams are dreams and reality is cruel.
The fact is I was never born an athlete, less a soccer player. I am psycho-motor in the way I play sports and I have no flair whatsoever in games. I love to win and I love engaging in physical battles but that is about all I have to offer. I look weird when I play sports. My actions are ugly. I have no grace, no guile and show no signs of any athletism.
Back in secondary school then, everybody played soccer in class. It was the thing everyone looked forward to during recess. I was in a notorious group in my class called "OKI gang" which means black mole. We had really great players in the team. I scored a lot of goals then with the help of my team mates. I was playing around some really great players. I was naturally delighted and I told people I was a decent player and score many goals.
It reminded me of how peope can so unashamedly audition for TV singing competitions such as American Idol or Superstar not knowing that they are just totally horrendous. I'm probably not so different myself. Many of us live behind a smokescreen, imagine being someone who we are not and will never be.
I love playing sports, I know how to play most sports which I suck at most. I'm thinking of joining the sports camp coming up in NTU. But I know I will never play the game the way I really want myself to. I am hindered by my own limitations. Therefore, I decide to make peace with my own weaknesses, accept them and embrace my other strengths.
posted by jingli K at 11:15 AM
5 Comments:
go join the camp!its wat u r interested in.U might have an unexpected find :)
yup agree. my sis and i call tat the karaoke syndrome.
I'm sure u've been to some sucky sessions where people are too polite and just give raving reviews even when the singer is just passable.
Tat just gives people the illusion that they are good, even when they are only the biggest fish in a very small pond.
But then again, tats how we get entertainment. To tell the truth, i get more fun watching the lousy out-ers of Superstar than the in-ners.
ya, juz go for e camp if ure reallie interested. no competitive element in it (ok, actuallie ive no idea wat guys thk) isnt it a camp for u to try out different sports, have fun n make new frens?
oh yes, n e project superstar thing makes me thk twice abt praising ppl outta politeness. i can totally understand y tt gal who looked like kang kang juz kp insistg tt she looks like jeanette au. altho its her fault tt she doesnt look into e mirror enuf but her frens r at greater fault for tellg such a big fat lie.
i'm actually more interested in the actual singing competition. I guess I prefer singing competitions where viewers at home don't play a part. Just let the judges decide.
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