What's with?

I haven't mend my drinking ways yet.

Next Year,
Things are gonna change,
Gonna drink less beer
And start all over again
Gonna pull up my socks
Gonna clean my shower
Not gonna live by the clock
But get up at a decent hour
Gonna read more books
Gonna keep up with the news
Gonna learn how to cook
And spend less money on shoes
Pay my bills on time
File my mail away, everyday
Only drink the finest wine
And call my Gran every Sunday
Resolutions
Well Baby they come and go
Will I do any of these things?
The answers probably no
But if there's one thing, I must do,
Despite my greatest fears
I'm gonna say to you
How I've felt all of these years
Next Year, Next Year, Next Year
I gonna tell you, how I feel
Well, resolutions
Baby they come and go
Will I do any of these things?
The answers probably no
But if there's one thing, I must do,
Despite my greatest fears
I'm gonna say to you
How I've felt all of these years
Next Year

Pass me my Erdinger glass again.

Oktoberfest

Alright this isn't exactly Oktoberfest. It happens in October. Duh.

Last week which was recess week saw me got wasted drinking 4 times in a week. 2times heavy and wasted. 1 day with 2 drinking sessions in the same day, night and day. Scold me all you want for spoiling my bloody liver but guys just wanna have fun. To get dead is living.







The usual 3 drinkers u saw at the previous posts.







That is one fucking wasted motherfucker.



Hoegarden Forbidden Fruit.

Oktoberfest is coming and its the biggest event coming up. One of my tutorial group mates was just telling me about her friend's life studying in Germany. Party all day, next up is Oktoberfest. Party some more, next up is World Cup 2006. Screw those fuckers.

If you're interested in some Erdinger or maybe even Bratwurst, let's go to Oktoberfest together and stuff those sausages in your mouth man. Yeah baby.

Be With Me

Not since 15 by Royston Tan had another local film received so much attention and had so many people talking about it. Be With Me by Eric Khoo received a standing ovation at the Cannes. There must be something fascinating about this show. There must be something that sets itself apart from other shows. I mean, even my critical buddy, Damien liked it. It's a must watch for me.

I walked out of the cinema feeling just alright. It certainly met my high expectations for it but probably it's not a movie that I really like it very very much. Halfway through the show, it sort of drifted into a documentary about the life of this anthropologist Theresa Tan who is both blind and deaf. I think it's totally amazing how she actually lived the life that she had and it's even more amazing that she learnt a new language, both oral and written without being able to see or hear. The not-so-amazing part is why Eric Khoo incorporate a real life story of someone into this movie. Yes, it's supposed to be inspiring. I was inspired. But it somehow took the shine off the movie for me. Also, we will lose track of the content if we don't read the subtitles at this part of the movie where everything just went silent. I always found it hard juggling watching the movie and the subtitles at the same time.

Lynn Poh was really just a vase in the show. She's there in fact to contrast the sad life of Fat Boy 40. Fat Boy 40 is one of the characters that I was talking about in my speech in one of my modules in school. The sad fucks in life.

In life, we are not born perfect. But some are more perfect than others. Like after the show, I was strolling down Orchard Road at midnight where these fucking sports cars whizz past the roads. Fucking they think Orchard Road is their bloody playground. Hell lot of these sports cars, kids driving them. And there I am strolling, catching a fucking NR 5 back to Boon Lay and then taking cab back to school. My friend beside me reminded me that there are people who are less fortunate than us, have even more fucked up lives like that of Fat Boy 40. So who decides all these? God? Karma? Born rich, born poor, born in mediocricity, born with a silver spoon straight up the ass, born with disabilites?

I always stay firm with the belief that people with different environment have their different lessons to learn in life. But somehow the idea of being poor or fucked up doesn't sound that appealing.

Ezanne Lee and Samantha Tan weren't amazing. They say actors with little dialouge and yet bring out the character are very credible. They have debunked that fact. Not that they weren't good. Just that it's really not too difficult to act people their age, act sad, act happy, take neoprints. I like the lesbian kiss though. I like anything lesbian.

girlskissing.co.uk

There are some scenes that are beautifully shot though. The best part how some he made some insignificant places in Singapore look so beautiful on film. The film captures your attention from start to finish where silence is loudest.

Yes when silence is loudest.

Magical 13

Superhost came to crash at NTU 2 days ago, the same day when I did my quarters at Shenton Way. I came straight back to have a game of mahjong with him and his two other ex-classmates.

十三幺

Yes I finally got it. It's like a fucking milestone. You can like put it up on your list of 'firsts'.

1.First goal
2.First kiss
3.First day in school
4.First magical 13

For those who dunno what magical 13 in mahjong is, it's like royal flush in poker. The weird thing about magical 13 is that it's fucking so difficult to get it yet so many people get it. Mahjong is an amazing thing. It defies logic, it defies common sense, it is unpredictable and predictable, it requires hell lot of luck but yet you need skills to steer this luck. Then again, all the skills in the world will get you no where with no luck at all.

Fucking my heart never pounded so fast when I was waiting for that last elusive card 'West' to secure my magical 13 and write myself into mahjong's folklore.

7th Oct

I'm one step closer to Genting.

It's this Party World KTV singing contest( Be A Star 2005 ) I'm taking part in. 1st prize is $12000 then finals go Genting and sing leh, not bad huh.

About 750 odd signed up for it. Considering that the registration fee is $30, they earn back a bit already la. I sang 优克李林's 认错 for my auditions as usual. I sang that too for the auditions for the IMM competition that I flopped so badly. Before I went in, one of the IMM contestants recognised me and said hi. Thanks you motherfucker for identifying me, make me feel like such a wannabe, every fucking singing competition also go and take part. I felt really low class then. Well good luck to you, whatever your name is, I don't care also. I was also the only person that day to finish singing the entire song for my audition. For what I also dunno, probably it was too good they wanna carry on listening. Actually, I think that is actually what it is. What? Not happy come fuck me.

Then when you get through, they give you this piece of paper like what you see the Singapore Idol, Project Superstar people get la. There's this host that looks like 林志炫 who is another singer i greatly admire who's pretty annoying, goes around telling people they can do it, encouraging those who didn't get in 'dun give up, try again' all that crap. Like the bloody Ryan Seacrest just that there's no TV this time.



So about 200 plus got through to the quarter finals. There were like many quarter finals held on different days. Mine was the 4th quarter final that happened just 2 days ago. Probably by know, you also know I got through to the semi finals if not i won't be writing so much cock by now. Each quarter final comprised of about 25 people and 6 will be selected to the semis.

I sang 伍思凯's song for the quarters. In english it's called ' Loved you, always love you'. Sounds like a fucking cheesy song but it's probably one of my best songs. The judges liked it and so i'm through to the last 40 odd for the semis where they will choose 12 to go to Genting. They also say that this 12 will be enrolled into a music school where they will fine tune your vocals and build on your stage presence, image whatever fuck la.

The standard is not very high seriously la. There were like auntie people taking part in the quarters la, singing Theresa Teng 邓丽君 song in the old-fashioned way. It was pretty good though but understandably she didn't get in la. The standard for the semi finals should be pretty alright I guess.

I say so much for what. If you're free, must come down and support me! It' 730p.m. at Shenton Way Party World KTV on 7th October Friday night. I'll be singing Eason's love is 怀疑.

As you can see I'm using some chinese characters in my blog now, must get in touch with my roots la. But they seem to have some problem with the bloody chinese syllable 'Ai' which means love. Seems like blogger is not a believer of love.

Dream

As i type this, few hundreds like me sit patiently and subduedly excited, eagerly anticipating the curtains to be drawn up for the ultimate musical experience,雪.狼.湖. Snow. Wolf. Lake. that is. The ticket costs me 230 bucks but even without watching a minute of the show, I felt it was already my money's worth. To see Jacky Cheung 张学友 perform live has always been and will always be my priority.

The first time I hear him sing live was at a packed West Mall where I waited near 4 hours to get his autograph. 讲你知 blew me away that day and no words can really express my admiration for his precocious vocal talent. To meet the man himself and shake his hand was just amazing.

Fast forward a year later and I'm here, seated in the Singapore Indoor Stadium with this laptop. God knows why I bring my laptop into the musical. I peered through the crowd and I know I'm in good company, no youngsters or fuckers that worship motherfucker idols. It was a good, mature crowd that pay good money to support good music and good performance.

I felt uncomfortable with the songs done in chinese as they were originally pure cantonese songs. 许慧欣 and 陈忪伶 impressed me with really decent performances and the group dance segments were all pleasing to the eye. I am inspired. I truly am. To do a musical, to sing and dance and have fun on the big stage.

When 爱是永恒 played, tears welled up my eyes like how those motherfuckers cry when they hear Jay Chou or 5566 fuckers do their concerts. I was just so proud to be there at the concert to watch the performance, I would be proud to be once of the dancers or to just work with him.

A grand standing ovation was reserved for Jacky in the end, I was cheering and shouting like an idiot and clapping as hard as I could. Because he inspired me. Because I feel the emotions, the glory, the appreciation of the audience with sincerity and adoration at its maximum. He made me felt that you can make so many people happy and yourself happy at the same time. I still feel like crying. I shouted '加油，学友！'deep in my heart.

Maid

Seems like every motherfucking month, maids will get into the news for something.

Maids being abused. Maids abusing babies. Maids throwing babies into rubbish chutes. Owners planting hidden cams monitoring their maids. And now we have maids killing maids.

Producers of 'The Maid' must be fuming why this didn't happen earlier to go in sync with their publicity campaign. These fucking maids come to Singapore create so much trouble, make a mess in Orchard Road. Dispose bodies in the most busy place in Singapore. Idiots.

Sometimes I think all these idiots get caught for killing people are really stupid. Maybe it's because Singapore is so damm small and maybe also because of the Police Force's efficiency. The biggest mistake of all these fuckers is they always dispose the bodies somewhere where people can find them. The sea. Dustbins. Some deserted grassland. Or maybe they just couldn't think properly at that hour. Probably anxiety and guilt got the better of them.

To cleverly dispose the body, here are some tips:

Because the fucking human body is so massive, hacking down the chunk into body parts is a must. Preferably as small as possible. Which is difficult. But it's do-able. Start clearing up things in your freezer. Stuff them in for the time being and take a breather. Keep in mind that the body is so badly chopped up, even if the fucker become a fucking ghost or whatever shit, it doesn't have limbs, head or what. Never be guilty after you killed somebody. What's done cannot be undone. You created the fucking mess yourself, stay on your feet, use the most intelligent approach to clear your shit up. After you have cleared all the blood, wrap up the mess, storing the body in the fridge will help solve the problem of stench.

There after, aviod visitors coming to your place. You can start off by organising dinners and trips to other people's places. Time and then, take out the parts, and chop them further into smaller pieces, cook it, fry it, steam it or anyway you want, dispose a small amount into your own rubbish chute together with other food. It can take as long as 2 years to dispose the whole body but but bit by bit, you can clear your fridge in time without leaving any traces.

Always keep in mind that you will be be hanged in Singapore's law for murder. Use that as your motivation. Try doing good things in the time being when the corpse is still in your fridge to make yourself feel better. All you are asking for is a second chance. And you should also be sparred punishment for being so clever in disposing the body. It's a long and tedious process but it is definitely worth it.

P.S. Some parts will be more difficult to chop off than others, e.g. the fucker's head. You can fucking blindfold youself and start chopping the meat as hard as you can.

Nano

So damm bloody nice. I want!!

But why Apple make this to piss off the iShuffle people...

Frogs

A rather disturbing sight interrupted the momentum of daily life when I was waiting for my food at this coffee shop.

An aquarium with frogs lined up almost too perfectly outside this zi cha store.

It was mid-afternoon and people feel lousy during mid-afternoons. It was a saturday. People feel even lousier spending time in a coffee shop when it's a saturday afternoon. But these frogs made me feel worse.

These fucking frogs were looking at something. And I don't know what the fuck they are looking at.

And they are fucking all looking at the same direction.

Have they found Jesus or something? Or did they see some light shining their way? The end of the road for these bloody frogs.
They had doom written all over their faces. They must be seeking divine help to save them from the shithole they are in. A fucking aquarium with so many of the same fuckers that look exactly like them waiting to be slaughtered, fried or steamed. Whichever way less painful it is.

As the frogs stared in unison, more frogs came piling on top of one another anxious to know if someone has indeed come for their rescue, salvage them from the mess they are in, be saved or something like that.

I can imagine when one of these fuck frogs get taken away. Their fucking expressions will be the same. That same fuck face. That fucking frog eyes will still be staring at the same spot. The same spot that the other frogs are still looking when one of them has been taken away. Can't take their eyes off it. Like how Damien Rice will sing it. It goes on for eternity.

And when the last frog is taken away. All that is left is an empty aquarium with the remmants of fucking frog smell and frog hope.

Kids' blogs

These 2 blogs stolen from my 13 year old cousin's blog links..

It is absolutely amazing I found out recently that my cousin's blog actually have like 30 over links. Which means 30 over bloggers below the age of 14. Which means that are still a hell lot of them out there. Which means totally absurd.

If you take a closer look at the content they write, you'll be amazed at what they talk about. My cousin's probably gonna kill me if she read this which I think she will but I'm saying it as matter-of-factly. Basically it's something like that.

Today there's school.
The lessons very sian.
The teachers suck.
I'm damm bored.
Went out with
Veri happy!!

But once in a while, they'll make more constructive comments. But of course these blogs are created for personal use and they can do whatever they like to do with it. Whether it's competing to see who has the best interface or contacts, or simply because they like to keep an account of their daily activities.

It's just kinda amazing that kids these days have so much power to do such stuff, these people have what we never had in the past with so much knowledge and accessbility of the web. Everything is so readily available to them. It will be scary how tech-savvy they can be when they hit my age. Competition in the workforce will definitely get more intensive.

But kids' blogs are usually journals of their own lives which can be so frustrating for people who attempts to do interesting stuff in their blogs. Fucking like spoiling the market and an insult to this whole blogging world. I mean everybody writes crappy stuff and writes about themselves. But kids' crap is different from our crap. Can we really tolerate some kids' happenings in their school when we happen to chance upon their blogs. It's like a fucking big slap on the forehead.

But then again, no one is stopping kids from blogging. Because it's writing and it's space for creativity and literary flair. Well kids, at least write something more interesting next time.

Evil people

A few days back some or rather 2 of my friends came over to my hall to have some drinks and look around in my room.

Fane was in the room too, doing his stuff when this little girl came in to ask for some help.

I call 19 year old girls little girls cos they look small and because they really look like they just came out of school. These little girls are nice, friendly people and looking ever so optimistic, bustling about in hall, chit-chatting, room-hopping and full of energy.

I'm not trying to brag about my age here and I really think that these 19 year olds are really good people just that I think they are still like kids. Nothing wrong with that. I also fucking look like a bloody kid.

So I guess the poor girl was quite shocked to see 3 CS fuckers in the room drinking Chang Beer, with traces of smoke smell and loud music playing in the room. Some crude language here and there, and some really unnecessary loud laughter.



We were really like bastards I feel and I feel so old really. But I kinda enjoyed it. Aisha is 19 year old too but she's another type of 19 year old altogether as can see from the picture. There are still many of the innocent, kiddy and innocuous 19 year olds out there and that's a really a scene to behold.

So eventually these little 19 year olds will transform into our typical type of Singaporean girls. Mini-skirts, long blonde hair, contacts for those wearing specs. It's almost like the 21 year old Singaporean girl prototype.



I'm currently enjoying my status as the not too sociable but friendly enough next-door ah beng with some dark obsessions.

Herbie

I enjoyed Herbie: Fully Loaded.



Somehow or rather, I love Linsday Lohan shows. ( Mean Girls, Parent Trap, Freaky Friday ) She's a natural on the big screen and she nails the lines, the expressions and her roles effortlessly. Well, they are indeed kiddy and teeny poppy shows but she does them hell lot better than people like Hillary Duff and those teen princesses. She's a slut in real life for the moment but every Hollywood brat will somehow mend their ways and become ambassadors for whatever bullshit peace corps or organisation again.

My blog is sounding like christopher's blog.

But somehow I felt good coming out of a movie theatre feeling happy rather than disturbed, fucked up or baffled.
They should really make more feel-good movies, such as School of Rock, That Thing You Do,Mean Girls again..

Yeah, but I'm contradicting myself.

My obsessions with the dark side cannot allow myself to have such sinful pleasure of watching feel-good movies. My movies must have sensational killing, disturbing sex and fucked-up lives of fucked-up people.

How come like that?

I never believe in watching horror movies but I did catch 'The Maid' unfortunately. Thought it would be some good stuff from local film people but the story didn't really grip me as tight as I thought it would be. It's painfully annoying and difficult to watch because every single scene has a possiblity of frightening you. So I didn't enjoy watching it at all.

Perth: The Geylang Massarce like Herbie have semi-colons in their names. That is, however, out of point. I love Angry Boy Lee in the show, this chao ah beng who is fucking vulgar and natural la. The english spoken in the film is not as colloquial as I like it to be and it could be better if the whole show was a mix of little english, chinese and hokkien.

It makes me ponder about sitcoms and dramas that have been airing in Singapore television, how Singaporeans speak English in a non-Singlish-ly Singaporean way. Like there is certain pitching at different part of the phrases or sentences they say.

It is weird to see local dramas, english or chinese, do their shows only in one language. Makes it kinda fake. For HK dramas, its natural for the actors to converse entirely in canto cos that's what they really do in real life. American shows alike. Nobody really speaks proper english shows in Singapore but yet we have english shows done in an entirely english-speaking way.

I'm looking forward to see Linsday doing more serious shows. It's time she break out of that mould.

Mainsteam - 105th post

I hate it when blogs start talking too much about themselves, telling others what they've done and what went on in their lives and I annoyed myself doing that for my past few posts.

When I started out doing this blog, I told myself I'm not gonna do a "Jing Li's story" sort of shit. It must be something like " Stories by Jing Li ". It didn't quite turn out that way and once again like many motherfuckers, I've gone the mainstream way of updating the happenings of my life, giving excuses such as: I've got a responsiblity to tell my frens what is going on with my life and bullshit like that.

Is going the mainstream way the safe route to everything?

By choosing comm studies in NTU as my course of study, I guess it's sort of a non-mainstream route, considering the business and engineering fuckers flooding the entire society. It is also a less than desirable degree in terms of job prospects and professionalism.

But probably I should be proud of myself that at least I'm doing something different. That I dare make the choice of stepping into the unknown. Risk it and don't look back/bad. The many times i nestled in my own comfort zone in the past, not willing to step out to make a difference in my own life really struck me that day I was busking at Taka.

20min before the gig and not feeling really prepared, I thought to myself what am I really doing this for? For the Lions' home? For my passion for singing? Why do I need to go through all this unecessary adrenalin rush when I can easily walk along orchard road, laugh and criticize these motherfuckers performing and looking bad on the streets. Why do I feel all these bloody organic acids I studied in JC chemistry circulating all around my body, making me feel all scared and nervous about possible fuck-ups of my own performance. Why can't I be like any motherfucker on the streets?

I pondered and thought that backing out would be a good option. It's so easy. I just have to say that I was not feeling too well and I din feel too good about myself, admit that I'm a failure and admit I'm just an overrated fucker.

In the end, I stayed on for a less than convincing performance. I didn't feel too good about myself that day. I thought I could do better, I felt I should have been more prepared in choosing and sourcing for the neccessary VCDs myself. It wasn't a terrible performance but neither was it a mind-blowing one.

But come to think of it, I'm getting used to the fact that I've embarked on this 'steppin out of the comfort zone' thing and do things that I felt that I just gotta do it. Do things that I felt, justified my mere existence. Fucking just go and whack whatever stuff that I wanna do and no one's gonna stop me.

The alternate route..?