Mainsteam - 105th post
I hate it when blogs start talking too much about themselves, telling others what they've done and what went on in their lives and I annoyed myself doing that for my past few posts.
When I started out doing this blog, I told myself I'm not gonna do a "Jing Li's story" sort of shit. It must be something like " Stories by Jing Li ". It didn't quite turn out that way and once again like many motherfuckers, I've gone the mainstream way of updating the happenings of my life, giving excuses such as: I've got a responsiblity to tell my frens what is going on with my life and bullshit like that.
Is going the mainstream way the safe route to everything?
By choosing comm studies in NTU as my course of study, I guess it's sort of a non-mainstream route, considering the business and engineering fuckers flooding the entire society. It is also a less than desirable degree in terms of job prospects and professionalism.
But probably I should be proud of myself that at least I'm doing something different. That I dare make the choice of stepping into the unknown. Risk it and don't look back/bad. The many times i nestled in my own comfort zone in the past, not willing to step out to make a difference in my own life really struck me that day I was busking at Taka.
20min before the gig and not feeling really prepared, I thought to myself what am I really doing this for? For the Lions' home? For my passion for singing? Why do I need to go through all this unecessary adrenalin rush when I can easily walk along orchard road, laugh and criticize these motherfuckers performing and looking bad on the streets. Why do I feel all these bloody organic acids I studied in JC chemistry circulating all around my body, making me feel all scared and nervous about possible fuck-ups of my own performance. Why can't I be like any motherfucker on the streets?
I pondered and thought that backing out would be a good option. It's so easy. I just have to say that I was not feeling too well and I din feel too good about myself, admit that I'm a failure and admit I'm just an overrated fucker.
In the end, I stayed on for a less than convincing performance. I didn't feel too good about myself that day. I thought I could do better, I felt I should have been more prepared in choosing and sourcing for the neccessary VCDs myself. It wasn't a terrible performance but neither was it a mind-blowing one.
But come to think of it, I'm getting used to the fact that I've embarked on this 'steppin out of the comfort zone' thing and do things that I felt that I just gotta do it. Do things that I felt, justified my mere existence. Fucking just go and whack whatever stuff that I wanna do and no one's gonna stop me.
The alternate route..?
When I started out doing this blog, I told myself I'm not gonna do a "Jing Li's story" sort of shit. It must be something like " Stories by Jing Li ". It didn't quite turn out that way and once again like many motherfuckers, I've gone the mainstream way of updating the happenings of my life, giving excuses such as: I've got a responsiblity to tell my frens what is going on with my life and bullshit like that.
Is going the mainstream way the safe route to everything?
By choosing comm studies in NTU as my course of study, I guess it's sort of a non-mainstream route, considering the business and engineering fuckers flooding the entire society. It is also a less than desirable degree in terms of job prospects and professionalism.
But probably I should be proud of myself that at least I'm doing something different. That I dare make the choice of stepping into the unknown. Risk it and don't look back/bad. The many times i nestled in my own comfort zone in the past, not willing to step out to make a difference in my own life really struck me that day I was busking at Taka.
20min before the gig and not feeling really prepared, I thought to myself what am I really doing this for? For the Lions' home? For my passion for singing? Why do I need to go through all this unecessary adrenalin rush when I can easily walk along orchard road, laugh and criticize these motherfuckers performing and looking bad on the streets. Why do I feel all these bloody organic acids I studied in JC chemistry circulating all around my body, making me feel all scared and nervous about possible fuck-ups of my own performance. Why can't I be like any motherfucker on the streets?
I pondered and thought that backing out would be a good option. It's so easy. I just have to say that I was not feeling too well and I din feel too good about myself, admit that I'm a failure and admit I'm just an overrated fucker.
In the end, I stayed on for a less than convincing performance. I didn't feel too good about myself that day. I thought I could do better, I felt I should have been more prepared in choosing and sourcing for the neccessary VCDs myself. It wasn't a terrible performance but neither was it a mind-blowing one.
But come to think of it, I'm getting used to the fact that I've embarked on this 'steppin out of the comfort zone' thing and do things that I felt that I just gotta do it. Do things that I felt, justified my mere existence. Fucking just go and whack whatever stuff that I wanna do and no one's gonna stop me.
The alternate route..?
posted by jingli K at 2:58 AM
2 Comments:
The alternate route?
Mediocrity.
The Singaporean Way. Be Unseen, Unheard, and Die Unknown.
By the way, I dunno if this means anything to you, but I thought you did alright. Not oh-my-fucking-god-that-was-fantastic, but definitely worthy.
oops! i missed ur performance that day...
-ww
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